#it's not very effective… a critical hit!! because i thought that made no sense. because i didn't know what the fuck it meant

[front-facing-pokemon]

[mezz-merizing]

Confusion & Suggestibility

so i had a fun experience in voice chat today! there’s this discord activity called blazing eights that is basically just uno— bear with me, i promise this is hypno-related— and myself and a couple friends were all playing it. one of them, who we’ll just call PK, played one of those “change the colour” cards and couldn’t figure out how to actually use it, because the UI for this game is really weird and bad. PK had already timed out of being able to choose the colour once, so they were a little frantic, rushing to figure out how to do it before the game just chose it for them

so at this point another one of the people in the game, who only had one card left, jokingly said “make it green,” since, y’know, that would have won them the game! PK actually laughed at this, so i know they heard it in the moment. and then they figured it out, finally realised how to actually choose the colour, and then they… made it green. it actually took PK a couple of seconds to realise what they’d done, and at that point, the other player had already won. it was pretty funny!! they very incredulously asked “WHY DID I MAKE IT GREEN??” since they knew full well that doing so would make them lose the game. we all laughed about it, because it was funny in the moment, but then i got to thinking about it. you can probably tell based on the title of this post where i’m going with this!

this is, funny enough, a very useful case study on how confusion and shock inductions actually work. it’s kind of the perfect real-world demonstration of it! PK was confused and occupied, frantically trying to figure out how to play the game properly, and when they heard essentially a direct order, even a joking one, they really didn’t pay it any mind. but once they had cleared up the thing that was taking up their brain space, their brain sort of “loaded in” the thing they had heard, and before they even realised what they were doing or processed it fully, they just… obeyed. the command slipped past their critical thought and took effect before they could actually think about it, because it was slipped in while they were confused and frantic

you can apply this principle in a lot of places, the classic rapid induction being one of my faves! we’ve all seen the jerk the arm and shout “sleep” thing, and it really works the same way. the subject is dazed and confused by the sudden physical sensation, and while they’re in the midst of processing that, trying to figure out what just happened to them, and reorienting their kinesthetic sense, that command hits first, and just like PK did, they obey before they have the chance to think about it. a deeper part of them obeys, really! the command passes right through the critical, conscious mind and vanishes into the depths of thought, which just follow it uncritically

and a lot like PK, by the time they realise what they did, it’s too late. they’re already asleep, or have already lost the game. it’s such an interesting induction tactic- and obviously, such a hot one. just having a command slipped past all your faculties, giving you no choice but to follow. you don’t even get the chance to think about it. you’re just gone…

and that’s really it!! a fun demonstration of how confusion inductions work happened before my eyes, and it’s been plaguing my thoughts ever since. can you really be sure your thoughts are yours when new ones can be forced in so easily? <3

[fumifooms]

Namalin

Namari x Falin

Easy short rarepair spotlight post for prosperity~ This one I didn’t think of on my own for once, I don’t know if it’s just I forgot the decided-on ship name or what but I remember seeing really nice art and a couple posts about it that I can’t find again 💔 Namalin warrior you are out there and not forgotten ty for making me see the light

I like that Namari’s critical of Falin! I have a whole character analysis on Falin if you’re interested, but it’s generally well noticed that people around Falin idealize her a lot. Laios, Marcille and Toshiro all put her on a pedestral of ultimate goodness in the world, a saintess if nothing short of perfection. Sounds like Chilchuck felt sort of creeped out by her vibes, uncomfortable because he couldn’t read her, so unlike Namari it seems he preferred steering clear of her rather than debate opposed ideologies like he usually does. Makes sense if unlike Namari his issue is with her cryptic aura rather than the stances she does show. "… The dungeon is no place for soft hearts" my ultimate namalin scene <333 It’s fun because while this scene is there to show us a lot of things, mostly to establish Falin’s characters better as it’s the first flashback of her we get, the conflict in it is more than anything else Falin vs Namari in how they contrast and clash and approach situations differently. Namari wants security in swift effective violence and thinks Falin too soft for her own good when she prefers a pacifist approach and promotes compassion even for the "undeserving" in Namari’s eyes. Falin steps between the battle ready Namari and the ghost, fearless. Falin effortlessly gently exorcises the ghost without one step back, quickly. Falin proves someone wrong. Falin proves someone wrong.

I love thinking of Namari being surprised when she learns new aspects of Falin. I like Falin having the power to shape people’s views on her. With Falin ships the most fun part for me is usually that point where Falin/the relationship becomes a clean slate: the person realizes they haven’t been seeing all of her, realizes there’s more of her they hadn’t noticed or that she hadn’t shown, that there’s change, a shift in the views on each other and the dynamic a bit.

Namari often feels like an external view looking in to me… I need to make a proper analysis on her but like. I made a lamari post once (analytic more than personally invested rip sorry) and I go with the same Namari take here, I think she’s someone who tends to have an outsider view on people and relationships if that makes sense, she’s a coworker before anything else and she’s content staying at a distance, she’s not objective per se but she tries to keep feelings out of her choices and how she sees people (her lil arc on not staying to save Falin despite the existing camaderie but in the end asking to work for the Flokes more because she wants to stay with them). She’s serious no nonsense on the job but friendly off the job and likes having casual friends, but she’s not… She doesn’t really feel connected to the group. She’s so focused on doing her job, even if she does get impulsive and passionate and too assertive for her bosses’ tastes, so focused on working her reputation and life from the ground up that that professionalism and attitude limits her social life. It doesn’t help that her reputation makes her widely judged, so she probably enters social spaces on the derensive. The closest person she was to pre-canon as far as we knew was Chilchuck and even they have a very "coworker I get along with" dynamic more than friends, with a similar sense of boundaries, humor and world view. Also like canon says a few time, the party didn’t really try to get to know each other well pre-canon, didn’t hang out after work often no one knew where Marcille was from and no one thought that was weird (also how no one had the instinct to ask about Senshi’s past) etc, the notable exception is we’re shown Namari and Chilchuck hitting taverns together and having a grand time. Everyone’s fine with things as they are, they get along decent even if not everyone considers each other friends exactly. Where I’m getting at is that to me, it feels like she tries keeping emotional distance. Emotional distance from people in general being something which in my interpretation of Falin is also present, which would make it a theme and common thread interesting to explore imo. But yes like, Namari looking at Falin, and how everyone treats her, and being more skeptical, seeing her for what she is a little more, maybe even uncharitable. "Why is everyone treating her like she’s all that? She’s gentle sure but seems like a doormat to me" and then one day she comes running up with her mace ready to cave in someone’s face to protect Laios. So yeah… Keeping her distance but one day Falin offering her some gentleness that feels very too personal for someone who’s not used to being genuine and simply showing that they care… Them talking a bit which leaves her stumped and mindblown in a quiet way when Falin defies her expectations. Namari growing on Falin when she stays and decides to open herself up more, or when Falin ends up reading her really well like she’s shown to do with her parents and Marcille’s worries. She’s very attuned to worrying and why and when different people do it especially when it comes to when they worry for others, perhaps because she does a lot of that too, so I think she’d nail down how Namari does care for the rest of the party and it’d make Namari feel seen both in a warm validating way and in a scared naked way.

We see in the tentacles chapter that she’s someone’s who’s very protective and looks out for her peers in a tough love way. She’s overbearing but it’s because she wants everyone to have the best chances. I like that she’s very confrontational and somewhat pushy and rude, but it’s tough love, it’s protective care: asserting herself to better protect and defend. The opposite of Falin’s type of care, quiet and self-sacrificial devotion. They’re barbarian x healer but they’re also bodyguard x bodyguard in their attitude and role. … What I want for them is slow burn slice of life of being coworkers and slowly getting to know each other better, pretty fluffy, but god, put this way they’d have the potential to be such a hot layered mess of insanely mutually devoted codependence… Falin taking a hit for Namari and Namari being scarred by it forever, lots of arguments about it, my god.

I like that she’s the fighter to Falin’s healer. I looove thinking of scenes of Falin healing Namari, necessitating touch and like, a moment of slowing down and sitting together in silence, too intimate, the perfect opportunity to connect that neither truly want to take until one day they do. I love how onesided I imagine the relationship would be at first. Again, as per my interpretation of Falin, I think Namari would have all these little observations and opinions on Falin meanwhile Falin really doesn’t think of Namari much at first. So Namari thinks a lot about Falin and thinks she’s got her pinned down but hasn’t (not that she’s fully wrong, she’d have credit and confront Falin on some of her flaws like the doormat thing), while Falin is very passive about Namari and doesn’t think deeply about her or anything but she read Namari’s insecurities and logic well. Not unlike how Laios was the one who seemed to understand Namari’s way of care the best in the party in the tentacles episode, and how he was very understanding of her choice and reasons. In Falin’s case it’s more like, the objectivity of passivity… She cares about Namari less than Laios who generally seeks to form bonds, so her lack of investment allows her a neutral perspective. In that way another parallel with Namari that I’m drawing, except Namari lets feelings from her opinions seeps in more… Onesided beef my beloved. I’m going insane save me this post was a mistake. I think Falin takes the crumbs of friendship and love where she can without expecting or asking for anything more than what’s offered, and I think her relationship with Namari (or anyone really) would start out the way it did with Marcille: the other takes the initiative and they end up spending time together, Falin is friendly but unattached until the bond gets gradually and wordlessly strenghtened through regularly spending moments together. So! I think Namari would need to take a lot of the first steps, which since again she’s confrontational & argumentative and doesn’t hold herself back on that front that could spark a lot of conversations I think. Ooor since Falin cares about Namari less than Laios and Marcille she allows herself to be bolder herself lol. Or also circumstances force them to spend time together like dungeon party getting separated shenanigans.

I think their personalities match cutely, I think falin would try to protect namari like she does others but also Namari simply doesn’t need protection, just support. And I think they’re complementary in that way that Namari’s friendly but also won’t sugarcoat things, and I think if she takes an interest in Falin it could go from there and she could develop some understanding of her and idk like an intrigued crush….

Namari wants stability & security & to, like, not be judged and rejected and exiled lol, to find her nest her pack the place where she feels good and wanted in. I think having a fitting partner would help in that (similarly to how the found family with the Flokes seemed to. Oh another parallel, Falin’s top priority is protecting Laios her brother and what Namari are a family figure) and I think Falin would fulfill that cozy protection and that warm ‘being seen and not judged’ feeling. But also Namari would run up to her and yell about her trying to sacrifice herself ever.

Another fun thread to explore: post-canon guilt for not having gone to save her. Sure, they weren’t close, but they had some nice memories, didn’t they? Namari cares, and it stings despite herself when it feels like people think she doesn’t. Oh it wasn’t a lost cause after all, oh it’d have worked out, oh I could have stayed loyal and it wouldn’t have compromised myself in the end. Wanting to apologize to Falin, or just ahnging out with her and sharing a moment after she wakes up. And tangent but that’s interesting to think about… Narratively, I think the purpose of Namari and Toshiro in the story, beyond strenghtening the theme of "seek to understand what is different from you and promote unity despite them" and fleshing the cast and worldbuilding, is Toshiro’s purpose was being a foil & tool in Laios’ arc (trouble connecting with people) while Namari’s was being and a foil & tool in Marcille’s arc (standing up for ideals without being out of touch with harsh realities and needs). They are the conflict that push our protagonists to grow— and they explore different ways of dealing with a situation or topic, different ways of growing into themselves on that end: Laios needing to listen to others more and Toshiro needing to focus on voicing himself more to be able to connect, Marcille needing to learn ideals sometimes cost too much and Namari needing to internalize that ideals are sometimes worth risks (not only to be able to find a reasonable but fulfilling life balance, but also to get in touch with their compassion: Namari restricts her own too much and Marcille is too harsh on people she deems to be breaking values, like Namari not risking her life and career for a friend with no promise of success, or even like how Namari is harsh on Falin’s way of doing things : too gentle, too soft, too idealistic) (similarly to Chilchuck’s arc with Marcille too, and he also plays a hand in advancing that arc in the Namari chapters). We are getting far from namalin sorry ummm preview for future analyses like Toshiro’s contrasting approach to grief and accepting loss.

More post-canon namalin! Thinking about a timeline where… Namari is fond of Falin finding herself and going off to do her thing. "Finally!" she thinks. If she’s still for hire, maybe Falin would want her to come along, either as guide or bodyguard <3, she knows Namari has a lot of good avice on a lot of things to give, plus they’ve worked together before. She hires Namari and they travel for a bit. Travel would do Namari good too I think, even if her end goal is to settle and I think Falin’s would be too eventually. Seeing sights that light her wonder for the world and going places where people don’t know her story, don’t recognize her face or her name. Them, feeling free. Finding a companionship that feels uplifting instead of stifling or charged. Namari having been too in her head about reputation and social games and money that they hit the roads and spend time in nature and it’s like, woah. I’ve been living in a small world with made up rules.

Ahh yes romance, Namari and Falin kissing after 3 years of not really knowing each other despite seeing each other every day then 2 months of wanting to spend more and more time together until they’re an inseparable duo! Workwives. I want them to stand next to each other during campire time and Namari cracks little jokes and Namari laughs. I want Namari to gift Falin a bug caught in amber and for it to be their wedding/promised to each other thing.

TLDR

Rowdy but levelheaded barbarian x gentle healer that will also cave your face in with a mace I like it…… They’re an interesting duo of mixed stuff. Protection being your purpose and what you’re worth for, literally being a meat shield (Laios, Tansu), finding your individuality recognized and validated through a growing bond with the other. Sticking around as a love language. Also bug immortalized in amber and it being beautiful.

Nevermind this wasn’t short. Um! Anyways.

[that-ari-blogger]

Critical Role's Previous Cameraman

I put up a post the other day about critical role's new animated introduction and I couldn't help but notice a sudden spike in the analytical stuff that I don't really understand. A more tech orientated friend of mine informed me that this was a good thing, actually. So, I thought I might capitalise on that and examine the previous campaign's opening sequence through the same lens and do some more analysis.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

One notable thing about this song is when it starts. Exactly eleven seconds in. That's eleven seconds of wait before the final payoff. You catch glimpses of what's happening above, but nothing else.

And that is a key theme of this campaign. The unseen. The Mighty Nein was a party characterised by trauma, and a lot of the time, you don't see that, you only see glimpses. A flash of a fight they told you about, and the sensation of drowning.

But then we meet Fjord.

He's falling, and I'd like to point out the direction in which he is falling. You will notice the scars on his back, signifying he was probably in the process of running away, or was betrayed by someone, and he is falling towards those scars. Backwards. There is also a neat thing of falling away from the light, into the darkness, into the unknown. THis is someone out of control, leaning into the pain. And what is it that sees that?

There is a reason Uk'otoa's design looks so much like a leach. The creature is a parasite, it doesn't find someone strong to break down, it found someone weak, and at its mercy, and brought him under its control. What this shot does is highlight that creature's opportunistic nature, but it also associates it very clearly with the visual of that eye.

And it's that eye that carries through. When Fjord washes up on the beach, when he is finally safe, he carries with him a little piece of Uk'otoa, a little piece of that trauma.

It's also notable of that it is an eye. It's obvious, but it colours his vision, and changes how he views the world. Its effects aren't physical, but mental.

Beaureguard Lionet is a fighter. Not in the sense of class, because she isn't but in the sense of personality. Beau is a fighter in the sense that her first reaction to any problem is to punch it.

This transition is a wipe transition, but its important because of what it uses. It uses the opportunity to show off the uniforms of Beau's attackers, because otherwise the shadows of the rest of the shot make them hard to make out. These are wearing the same robes as her. Whoever they are, they are part of a team of some kind with her, they are people she should be able to trust, but look at how much damage they have done to her. Look at how heavily she is breathing. And look at what Beau does in response.

She fights back. This is how the animation gets across this character. She isn't complex, she doesn't need a great explanation, she doesn't have different sides to her, she just hits things until they stop being a problem.

I will also point out her eyes again. They are blue, not an unnatural eye colour, but they are the same blue as her robes, and the robes of those who are attacking her. Once again, the has warped the vision of its recipient, and in this case, it's creating a cycle of violence as all she knows how to do, is hit things.

We don't see Nott The Brave for a while in this animatic. We instead see, once again, the eyes. But I also want to point out that this was made before we knew about Veth. So we were just seeing the scared goblin.

This is as close as we get in this scene, and its Nott actively hiding from the light. The warmth scares her, and for good reason, its the same heat that we see emanating from her eyes. Once again, the trauma that has contaminated a character's vision is changing their reactions to the world.

And with that, I would like to talk about Jester, and I would like to do that in context.

The term "foil" in the context of a character was actually popularised by William Shakespear, who handily explained the metaphor for us.

"And like bright metal on a sullen ground, My reformation, glitt'ring o'er my fault, Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes Than that which hath no foil to set it off."

Put in English, I shine brighter when you have something to compare me to. And this is what a foil character is, a character who brings about elements in other characters that can easily be missed, or who shows off by contrast their personalities.

Jester is one of the two characters in the Mighty Nein who is not a child of trauma, and her introduction shows that. She reacts to her life by laughing, and contrast that with everyone else. Fjord reaches for a sword, the item of his trauma; Beau tries to fight her trauma despite that approach clearly not working; and Nott hides from it, unable to reach out for help.

And it is notable that the first time we see an adult Jester, she looks normal (if a bit over cheerful), then is immediately contrasted with the rest of the Nein.

This not only shows just how different her demeanour is from the rest of the crew, but it shows her effect on them. She makes them all smile. Jester and Caduceus are very much support characters in the truest sense of the word. They support others. Jester shows genuine kindness towards everybody else, and it reflects onto them.

This shot is neat but not too special. Its a tracking shot on the hat of all things, because thats what important here, and it shows the traveling dynamic of the group. It's a tiny bit of tension in an otherwise calm scene, so the camera is steady, but speeds up slightly to match the movement of the object, then comes to a stop when it is caught. There is very little stress, but there is a sense of comradery.

Similarly, this shot establishes some stakes with a rising pan to show the scale of the threat and to show some more information, but it is hardly a monster, so the camera isn't really in a hurry.

Enter Caleb Widogast, born in fire. I don't think they could write a more thematic entrance if they tried. An abrupt cut shows the night, then it is entirely consumed by fire, only to reveal Caleb.

There is no motion here. The camera is stock still. This is the exact same thing with Ashton and FCG in the Bell's Hells. Caleb is disassociating from the heat in front of him, and there is a fascinating reason behind that. Caleb has two characters that need to be introduced to better understand him, the man, and Bren, the boy.

The flames consume the screen again, and then part to show a boy, staring at the screen, in horror. This is what you need to know about this character, this is a character forged in flames, born from the Ashes. Bren is dead, Caleb Widogast remains.

And this shot, with Caleb, Astrid and Eadwulf silhouetted against the fire, shows what kind of trauma we are talking about, and what effect it has. This is guilt, and in contrast with the rest of his party, this guilt is paralysing.

Yasha, however, is introduced in a calm way, in contrast to everything around her. The camera shows you a woman, meditating, and then pans backwards to reveal this:

This is a woman surrounded by bloodshed, who has made a concerted effort to look away from it, and to look to the Storm Lord for guidance. This is a woman looking for healing, in comparison to everyone else, but that looking doesn't change the fact that that trauma is still there.

The next few scenes are cool, but don't really add anything to this analysis and I only have a few more images I can show here, so I'm going to skip to Taliesin's characters.

Caduceus has two introductions. One is this shot, which is a cool action shot of him casting an epic spell and vanquishing a crowd of enemies. But instead of the incredibly animated (in the sense of exaggerated poses) nature of his companions, Caduceus clay is calm and collected. He is unquestionably the anchor of the group, and where Jester contrasts them emotionally, Caduceus does so on a philosophical level. Caduceus is a gardener of fungus.

Mushrooms and other fungi are recyclers, they grow on dead trees and creatures and give a forest new life. They clear out the debris and make way for new things to take hold. That's what Caduceus does for the Nein, he helps them get through their trauma so that Jester can help them improve and become better.

Caduceus's actual introduction is muted, and there's a point to that. He's not trying to be the main character, you don't need to understand his family life to understand him. You need to understand that can stand in a graveyard and see the light, that he is at peace with what has gone before him and helps people to get past it, and that his entire mission, to regrow the grove, isn't to bring back what is lost, but to help regrow something new in its place instead of the blight that lingers there.

Mollymauk is introduced as a weapon transformed into a grave. That is what this transition is and I think that's really important. Mollymauk is, very clearly, a repurposed soul. He isn't the first person to inhabit that shell, and he isn't the last. I also want to point out how this character is represented here, not with a heroic memory, but with a quiet moment or remenicing on times gone by. He is a shadow that haunts the Nein.

This is by far the simplest shot in the entire video, and that's because it isn't telling you anything. You bring your own emotions to the table here, you bring the memories to the grave, that's how grieving works.

Once again, there is more to this video, but I'm only allowed to put 30 images in a single post. So I leave you with a quote from Niel Gaiman.

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

DnD likewise, and all TTRPGs for that matter, are powerful because in them, with a little bit of help from friends, any monster, no matter how personal, can be defeated.

[prettysweetprettysweet]

while i understand why some viewers would be puzzled by Achi's quietness, reserved energy, and the way he nearly always lets Karan take the lead - which might make it seem like he isn't invested in the relationship - for me that is actually an element I really like because it makes certain moments hit a lot harder.

the way I've been interpreting it is that Achi's critical insecurity and lack of self-worth is still deeply rooted and trying to keep him stuck in his default closed off/blend into your environment behavior model. that is certainly not going to go away overnight, but the more he interacts with Karan in this new romantic relationship context, the more opportunity Karan has to start chipping away at the barrier that keeps Achi from letting himself feel comfortable in a state of being loved. and it seems like a challenge that Karan is more than happy to take on, because you can see how giddy he gets when he's able to get a full-bodied positive reaction out of Achi. like when Karan said, cheezily and with an air of ridiculousness, that he had opened the bottle for Achi so Achi wouldn't wear himself out.

like Karan is RELISHING having elicited this wide, full-faced smile out of Achi.

we also saw Achi being treated like an object of beauty as Karan poses him for photos. he's being handled preciously by Karan, and for me this read as 'aaaaaahhhhhh my heart is racing i cant breathe, i've never felt like this before, i love this feeling.' It's a quiet and inward-facing response, but it has a huge amount of significance in regards to Achi's self-image. He is realizing through all of Karan's careful and loving gestures and affectionate gazes that he is beautiful in Karan's eyes - and he's starting to believe it himself, helping him build the confidence to begin responding fully to Karan and extending himself in turn.

We can estimate that Achi has probably never been comfortable with photo taking because he is so self-conscious about his body, and it takes the first half of the date for him to loosen up. but later on when Karan asks Achi if he would be interested in being photographed even more to fill the time before dinner, Achi agrees readily and with a smile, because he has become that comfortable in Karan's company. and Karan, again, is delighted at this slow but steady change in Achi's receptiveness to being loved and adored.

It does seem like Achi isn't vocalizing his feelings nearly as much as Karan. But remember - most of Karan's deepest, most intense romantic pinings have occurred in his thoughts and not out loud, because he's very concerned with Achi's comfort and doesn't want to scare or overwhelm him. Karan is open with his body language and more than comfortable offering signs of his care and affection, a stark contrast to Achi.

Achi, on the other hand, hasn't quite let himself believe that he's worthy of Karan's love and instead seems to think that Karan has made a horrible mistake. This is changing, and we are starting to see how Achi is slowly letting himself believe that this is real and that Karan knows who he is and is in love with him, the real him - and this naturally leads Achi to start viewing himself as a lovable person.

But one side effect of Achi having spent so long doubting Karan's affection for him is that he seems to have tried to squash any hope he might have inside him that anything good could happen to him, that he could really have a claim to Karan and Karan a claim to him. This is an act of self-preservation, in case Karan 'comes to his senses' and realizes that Achi is actually boring, unremarkable, and unworthy of being cared for by anyone.

So when Achi starts to let hope seep in, it really is precious. in episode 7, he expresses genuine fear about revealing his mindreading to Karan - because the outcome could likely be that Karan will be put off and not want to be around Achi anymore. he and Karan had reached a point of promise and new beginnings (love! hope!), and Achi doesn't want to risk losing Karan as a lover.

Achi also had a moment of real vulnerability this episode, when he tells Tanaka that Karan's support has been a source of motivation for him to continue striving for self-growth. Achi's eyes are welling with emotion, and Karan definitely wasn't expecting an admission like this from Achi.

Achi is visibly having a rough time in the meeting with Tanaka, and reacts with a look of panic when Tanaka asks what would happen if he and Karan broke up, as well as when Karan offered to resign.

Achi had allowed himself to feel hope at the prospect of having Karan be a part of his life, and is starting to panic as complications threaten their ability to start laying a foundation for their relationship in earnest. He's racking his brain for ways to help Karan, covering his eyes as he builds himself up to look at Karan's sales number like its a horror film, and checking in with him/worrying about Karan non-stop.

Favorite moment of the episode: Karan being as explicit as he's ever been about his romantic aspirations ("No obstacles can come between our love now") and Achi looking like he feels like the most special boy in the universe, UNDENIABLY very excited to hear it but also embarrassed - and Karan is so tickled to have gotten that reaction from him.

The episode ends with Achi singing along with the song in Karan's head and being adorably playful when Karan brings him candy. I feel like Achi is a stray cat that Karan is trying to tame, except in this case Achi's feral quality is his insecurity hindering outward expression and Karan is 'taming' him by providing him the comfort and safety to be himself. Every time Karan wins a moment of Achi allowing his true feelings and personality to shine through, I think of someone being like 'mom, the cat I've been trying to win over - he's coming up to sniff my hand now!'

Something to be excited about in next week's episode based on the preview: they have clearly broken through the physical affection barrier. Ecstatic hugs, heads in laps, holding hands in bed, piggy back rides...Achi is going to further permit himself to feel and want things and indulge those wants, and also give Karan affection in return, showing that he is just as happy to be with Karan as Karan is to be with him, and just as invested in the future of their love story. While its been a journey mixed with slow and subtle growth, I really do love and appreciate how the narrative is allowing Achi the time and space to transform how he views himself and how that translates to his relationship with Karan.

more thoughts here

[sokkastyles]

How do you feel about the live action so far? Personally, I like some of the changes they made but I miss Katara’s whole character and I don’t think Ozai’s characterization works very well.

I'm enjoying it as an adaptation. There are also things that disappoint me about it as an adaptation, but I still think I am enjoying it as an adaptation more than i would have if I had just watched it as if were an original story, with no knowledge of the original series. It lacks a lot of the things that made the original series stand out. It kind of pains me to say it, because they tried, they really did. They tried with the bending, and a lot of it is impressive and clearly inspired by the original. But it still is not as impressive as the original. Part of that is because of the fact that it's not new, part of it is the change in medium. Part of it is just that the magic isn't there.

I keep thinking about, for example, Aang's fight scenes. Don't get me wrong, the LA does a great job. They clearly thought everything out. Gordon is great. The martial arts moves are nicely choreographed and clearly inspired by the original. The effects are nice. But Aang still doesn't feel like an airbender the way he did in the original. A large part of this is that they are working with real people and a more realistic medium. The actors just can't be as naturally dynamic as animated characters. Every airbending move Aang does has to be done with special effects and deliberate shots and there's just so much work that needs to go into it that a lot of the casual airbending Aang does in the original is gone. And this isn't so much a criticism because I recognize that this has to come with the change of medium. But, as I said, it does diminish some of the magic of the original. The same reason we don't get, for example, Zuko blowing smoke through his nostrils. The side effect is that he doesn't feel as connected to his element.

I'm a big fan of animation as an art form, and the things I mentioned about the original ATLA? That is animation as an art form at its essence. We get a sense of who a character is just by their stance, or how they move, and the artist uses their medium to convey it without words. The actors do a lot to try and make up for it, but you're still inevitably going to lose something in the translation.

See my previous post for my thoughts about Ozai based on the first four episodes I've seen. Katara is another sore point for me. She feels like such a non-character here, there's nothing really memorable about her. She's not offensive, but she's not anything special, either, and it is a shame since she's such an iconic character for the series as a whole. I'm not here for discourse about how she needs to be more feminine or more angry or more etc. etc. etc. But what they've given us is just so bland that if I didn't already know the character I probably would think nothing of her at all.

As an original story, the live action series seems to lack direction. As I said, if I hadn't watched the original show I would probably have gotten bored by now because of having no real sense of who a lot of these characters are or where they are going or what the stakes of this story are.

I'm mostly enjoying the show as an adaptation that can bring me some new perspectives on these characters, the way I would a fanfic that has its hit or miss moments. Then I can take those things and add them to my own fanfics and metas and thoughts about these characters and this world.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Dear Gallifrey Institute for Learning,

thank you for redirecting me to KAREN, I found it a very well-developed AI model for Gallifreyan standards and a worthy interlocutor.

Oddly enough, my companion seems to find its name and its responses hilarious. Humans really can find anything entertaining, and I well believe one must, with such a limited life span.

I am writing to you once again because you seem well-versed in human knowledge, as well as Gallifreyan. You see, ever since I effectively locked my human out of any technological interface inside the TARDIS, they seem a little more distracted. They ask less questions, display less interest in the worlds we visit. Not that I keep track of such trivial matters, but they appear to eat a little less too. They stopped hitting me with rubber bands as well, which, I must say, is an enormous improvement.

I am not, of course, writing out of concern, but is there something about human keeping I should know about?

Thank you for your continued trust in our resources, and we’re delighted to hear that KAREN has provided some help for you.

🧑‍🚀 Humans and Their Quirks

Humans, despite their limited lifespan and relatively simple biology, are rather complex creatures when it comes to their emotions and behaviours. Their reactions to stimuli, especially when it involves changes in their environment or routines, can be fascinating.

🎮 The Importance of Engagement

Humans are inherently curious and thrive on engagement. For many, having access to technology provides a sense of agency and involvement in their adventures. When that access is restricted, they might feel a bit less valued.

Curiosity and Learning: Humans have a deep-seated need to learn and discover. If they suddenly find themselves cut off from something that previously satisfied this need, they might become disinterested in other activities as well.

Sense of Participation: Being able to interact with the TARDIS's technology likely made your companion feel more like an active participant in your travels. Without that interaction, they might feel sidelined, leading to decreased interest in your shared adventures.

🥪 Appetite and Emotional State

Appetite as a Mood Indicator: Humans often express their emotions through changes in their eating habits. A decrease in appetite can sometimes signify stress, sadness, or even boredom. If your human is feeling disengaged or unimportant, their appetite might drop as a result.

Human Playfulness: The rubber band antics are actually a form of play. Play is a crucial way for humans to bond and express affection. If they've stopped this behaviour, it might be another indication that they're feeling less connected or are in a lower mood.

🛠️ What Can You Do?

There are a few adjustments you could consider to re-engage your human:

Gradual Reintroduction to Technology: Perhaps allow them controlled access to certain non-critical systems of the TARDIS. This could reignite their curiosity and sense of involvement. You could even frame it as a learning opportunity—let them "earn" more access by demonstrating competence or interest.

Encourage Active Participation: Invite your human to contribute more during your travels. Ask for their input on where to go next, or even give them small tasks related to your adventures. Humans tend to perk up when they feel their contributions are valued.

Check in on Their Well-being: You might want to subtly inquire about their feelings or thoughts without being too obvious. You could do this during casual conversation, perhaps over one of their meals, to see if there's anything on their mind that's affecting their behaviour.

🛡️ Final Thoughts

Humans may be a bit high-maintenance, but they do make for interesting companions—especially when they're fully engaged and happy. By giving them a bit more freedom and showing that their presence is appreciated, you might find them returning to their more energetic (and perhaps slightly annoying) selves.

Related:

How do Time Lords see humans?: How Time Lords process humans on a sensory level.

What would a Human/Gallifreyan child be like?: Developmental expectations of a hybrid.

How long would it take for a Gallifreyan-Human hybrid child to realise they're not human?: All the little clues a new hybrid might pick up on as they grow.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[ari-kari]

I’ve had some difficult irl experiences this past month that have really shaken my sense of self-worth - which is already getting put through the wringer as it is, with all the therapy. I was gonna vent about it here, but listing my insecurities like that made me feel like I was reinforcing The Old Ways, and I’m trying to avoid that as much as possible. so instead I’m just gonna type up some reminders for myself that are 100% true, but that I sometimes elect to forget. long-ish mental health post ahead

(also I just now realized that this will be incomprehensible to anyone who doesn’t have a basic understanding of attachment theory, but oh well. its my party and I’ll wax therapeutic if I want to)

1. It is not my fault that I have an anxious attachment style. Full stop. These thought patterns have been present since I was very young, and reside at the core of who I am. While I strive for effective communication in all of my relationships, the feelings themselves should not be moralized. I cannot help the way my brain responds to intimacy with others; it is involuntary.

2. In the same breath, attachment styles are not permanent or prescriptive. With hard work, an insecurely-attached person (yes, even me) can move towards security with time. I am not a label, nor am I permanently broken. I am a fully-developed human being.

3. Here’s a big one - I do not harbor sole responsibility for the dysfunction in my relationships, especially when I am partnered with avoidant individuals. “Protest behavior” remains unacceptable to me, and I will choose a different path for myself whenever possible. But when I am feeling “needy” in my relationships, it is because my needs are not being met - plain and simple. And - critically important - when I have dated secure individuals in the past, my symptoms have dropped to zero. My attachment system was pacified, and I was free to focus on loving my partner and myself without the daily hits to my self-esteem.

4. I am a strong, fiercely-independent human being - and this is not an empty affirmation. I have endured horrendous trauma with level-headed fortitude. I am gifted at solving complex problems without the assistance of others, and have accomplished many important things in my life despite numerous hardships. The pain I feel when my intimacy needs go unmet is NOT a reflection of my character. And even if I wish I could change this part of me sometimes, it does not single-handedly define my worth.

5. I will love the right person one day. I will find someone with whom I have the freedom to heal, and who will return my affections gladly and without hesitation. And when I do, I’ll struggle to remember why I spent so much time whittling away at myself to fit into situations that weren’t meant for me. I will be able to respect the people I once loved for who they are - while simultaneously accepting that they are not right for me, just as I am not right for them.

And finally, because it needs to be said:

6. I love myself. I think I’m really cool. And in my heart of hearts, I know I’m gonna find what I’m looking for someday. It just won’t be with them 🤷

thanks for reading <3

[leonawriter]

When I think of all the different detco pairings, I usually think of the main ones, and so I'm all "yeah I ship all canon plus a few non-canon (AKA queer) on the side!" and actually I just... when I think about it?

It's funny, but there are a few side pairings that I'm not a big fan of. Some not as bad as others, sure, but still.

(under a cut for criticism and salt)

Shiratori, for instance, has changed a lot ever since he was introduced. Not talking about M3, more his initial plot line where he's basically only there to act as a roadblock to Takagi and Sato getting together. He wasn't especially likeable, mostly throwing his weight around as a "marriage candidate" and stalking anything potentially like a date.

I have to wonder if Gosho's views on his earlier characterisation of certain characters and plots has changed, since then. I was already in the fandom when the Sato/Takagi kiss happened, which would mean the other officers couldn't keep pursuing Sato in the same way and Gosho would have to figure out what to do with the ones he'd previously only used for that purpose.

But then we have things like the bookend gags in Bride of Halloween only a few years ago where there are fake "wedding" and "funeral" events that are gatecrashed by Sato's... "admirers," and I wonder how much has actually changed.

Shiratori himself has Kobayashi, the kids' schoolteacher, but... the fact that he'd only met her for a short time as a kid to the point that he thought someone who turned out to be a murderer was her just because they did the same sort of paper craft with their cup holders was a little... frustrating.

Every time I've gone through that I've been "that could have been her. That literally could have been her. She could have changed, and her life experiences could have shaped her and made her a different person, and you would have to live with that." It'd be such a great story to tell, that sometimes that just happens. And he could meet Kobayashi and get to know her as an adult, as a new person, with no assumptions and no sense of her being a replacement goldfish for someone who was a replacement goldfish for.... her.

Overall I don't have anything with regards to those two that makes me actively dislike them, it's just... "man, that could have been SO much better written."

The other one I'd say I have salt over - and for similar reasons, too! - would be Chiba and Naeko. Because again, they met as small tiny children, and never forgot each other, and grew up, and... haven't changed one bit.

Honestly, just... he could at least spice that up by making it so that one of them had attempted to date other people, and it didn't work out because they're hung up on a memory. But that just makes me think of them finally finding each other, and they're so caught up with how they remember the other being, that they don't even recognise each other at first! That? That'd be fun.

The thing I really dislike about Chiba/Naeko is that she tries to effectively control him for her own purposes; she pushes him (anonymously, which is even creepier!) to lose weight (which because we're in comic book time happens really quickly, which is concerning) and then when other women start finding her guy attractive, she encourages him (effectively) to put that weight back on and be unattractive to others again. Never mind whether or not he's healthier or happier either way, oh no! It's all about her feelings, insecurities, and not wanting competition.

It's like - the pairings are so very hit and miss. He'll either write something so good, or he'll write something and you wonder if he's ever been able to experience the world outside of his art studio in order to have friendships with women, or learn about modern issues and so on.

...I also dislike Kyougoku's misogyny toward Sonoko, which is a much bigger issue, what with him policing the way she dresses and being way too controlling of who she hangs out with, projecting his insecurity that she even might date other men onto her, no matter what she'd say about it, no matter if it's her idol-crush on Kaitou Kid (which is different from romantic love), or just... hanging out with friends who aren't girls.

Dude needs to lay off, seriously.

[deusvervemakesgames]

Project RBH Devlog 0019

This week has certainly been an unexpected journey.

As I thought, including Damage Numbers has allowed me to do all kinds of playtesting and bug hunting; I simply didn’t expect to find the bugs that I found. Which, to be fair, I don’t expect to find most of the bugs that I find.

Adding damage numbers was pretty much as easy as I expected it to be. It’s more or less a particle system—not the built-in particle system that the GameMaker engine has, but functionally very similar—that spawns a bit of text showing how much damage the target took. The text rises slightly by decreasing it’s position on the Y axis, with its movement on the X axis randomized. A simple dropshadow effect for readability, and voila! Damage Numbers.

Now, the system isn’t perfect. Right now, as you saw above, walls produce damage numbers because they also run the damage handling code necessary to make the bullets destroy themselves upon impact which is extremely crucial in a game with this many bullets flying around the screen. Otherwise there could easily be some serious memory issues, and that would be Bad. Also, GameMaker isn’t exactly the greatest with scaling most fonts, so it looks a bit blurry. You’ve probably noticed this issue on the Game Over screen. But, like pretty much all visual elements currently in the build, It’s Good Enough For Now.

The best part is that the code already supports rescaling the damage number when you get a Critical Hit.

The size is dependent on your Overcrit rather than the actual raw damage, to be clear. If my base damage is 500 or something ridiculous, it will show the damage number at the exact same size as if it was only 1.

But I mentioned bugs, did I not? And oh boy, were there some bugs that I found.

First of all, the Overcrit system resulted in unintentional exponential damage output, not linear. This is a problem because it means that there was literally no way to make a character build in this game that would be anywhere near as good as increasing your Critical Hit Chance to over 200%. While I could simply limit your Critical Hit Chance, that feels against the spirit of letting players create procedurally generated absolute nonsense character builds and bullet hell nightmares to slaughter enemies with.

I also discovered a strange problem when shooting the walls. If you happen to hit two objects simultaneously, they both run the damage code on the same bullet, which makes sense. What I had not realized is that if, for example, I increased the damage of the bullet because of a Critical Hit, then whichever object the engine has run the code second will already be taking the Critical Hit Damage and could possible crit again.

Both of these problems had the same solution: a temporary variable in the bullet that stores the base damage of the bullet. The Critical Hit uses this number to achieve linear grown instead of repeatedly doubling or tripling the base damage, and at the end of the script I reset the damage back to the base damage, so the second object gets a clean bullet to work with.

Easy.

I also discovered another respawn bug, in that I was not properly resetting the player’s Critical Multiplier, so every time you died and respawned, your Critical Hits got stronger. This is not what I would call intended behavior, so I quickly fixed that too. Perhaps this was the source of the peculiar bug that I thought I saw last week that made enemies suddenly die? I may never know for sure.

Until next Devlog!

-DeusVerve

Special thanks to my Tier 3 Patrons, Haelerin and Christos Kempf!

Support me on Patreon to get Early Access to builds!

[sinterblackwell]

Hi! I read your tags on the aro!LQG post and I wanna talk about it a little if you don't mind? (Disclaimer I'm rlly awkward so if anything sounds rude pls know I don't mean it to be.)

Okay so I feel like when Madam Meiyin talked about SQQ's fated person LQG did think that it was him, because I'm pretty sure no one else knew LBH was still alive by then (cmiiw)? To be fair the traits could be used to describe LQG which is hilarious so it's probably deliberate for comedic effect. When I read about LQG getting more aggravated by Madam Meiyin's prediction, I deadass thought he was just baffled like "why is this random demon telling that I'm SQQ's soulmate??? this is definitely bullshit we shouldn't continue listen to her." and so the rest is history hahah. I had thought it was really funny for LQG to be self-conscious about the prediction and so unhappy about it.

Anyway yeah that's it. Sorry for bothering you I just want to talk :')

first things first, you didn’t bother me at all!! this ask actually made me smile because i don’t engage a lot with the svsss fandom…or just any fandom in general, in discussions so i was happy to see someone reach out to me to just get to talk. second of all, i did a reread of that scene purely to see from a better pov than i did when i first read it and it truly is something.

**what is even more something is how much i write, hence why i put this “keep reading” sign.

hopefully any of it is salvageable :’)

the laughable thing about all this is that i genuinely feel like sqq regarding that scene in that … it just did not occur to me that lqg could possibly have been who madam meiyin was talking about. there was not a single brain-cell that considered lqg was thinking along those lines as you said where he was like “what the hell, is this stranger insinuating i’m sqq’s soulmate?”. while sqq didn’t consider any guys at all, in my case, i think i was very biased bc of how much i love bingqiu that any other character who may have an infatuation with our mc just wasn’t in the cards for me.

reading your own interpretation of that scene, i feel dumb now because it just seems so obvious. i said in my tags of that post you mentioned that that prediction can go both ways and madam meiyin’s words can apply to both lqg & lbh, i think.

“Your fated person has very little interest in others,” Madam Meiyin went on. “But once they find someone, their devotion is absolute.”

“A first-class beauty, peerless among all humans.” Madam Meiyin said with certainty.

i would also say this one below but i’m not too sure, since if we’re applying it to lbh, that “first meeting” would have been when he met sj!sqq, not sy!sqq so idk if the lines are just blurred there.

“Your first meeting was unhappy, and there might even have been loathing involved,” said Madam Meiyin. “But after a critical moment, that all began to change, and thoroughly so.”

but i can definitely understand now why the fandom are so rattled when it comes to lqg and his feelings for sqq, whatever they are. it now makes me curious to see fics that explore that, but i’ve also just been very wary of reading any svsss fic that isn’t centered around bingqiu as the main pairing😅

thank you for giving me your thoughts on that scene!! it honestly makes a lot of sense in reflection, and i feel like it definitely hits hard because whoever this “fated soulmate” this madam was talking about was, for both lqg & lbh, it reveals a certain depth in the impact that sqq has had on these two characters that they just end up sort of blurring the lines in this prediction.

which makes what happens during those years where lbh held onto sqq’s corpse and lqg constantly chased after him so much more heavy to think about…..

[variousqueerthings]

okok final thoughts about the movie after all that:

1. pleased to have watched it, despite my laundry list of criticisms

2. I didn’t think any of it was comedic in the gallows humour sense I assume it was going for. that may be an effect of ageing, but then, mash 1974- is frequently excellent at this, including and especially in its first seasons 

3. read that there was a subplot that happened after the movie has ho-jon getting conscripted by the south korean army (after which in the film we never see him again, and I think that was the most “oh, this isn’t my hawkeye” moment actually, because he kinda just goes “dammit” and then it cuts to something else, and that’s it), in which he’s killed and his body comes through the 4077th, and I think that would have been better in the context of what I think the movie wanted to do?

4. I do get a bit lost in the movie’s intentions, I confess. is it war is hell and so we become worse people? is it surreal antics in the face of serious conflict? is it related to the military really? is it that this is just what it was like? none of it really... slots into place for me, because there’s a bits that dispute every one of these, and mainly I guess I just don’t see what apparently a bunch of reviewers saw

5. the roger ebert review at the time: “There is something about war that inspires practical jokes and the heroes ... are inspired and utterly heartless ... We laugh,  ... because it is so true to the unadmitted sadist in all of us. There is perhaps nothing so exquisite as achieving ... sweet mental revenge against someone we hate with particular dedication. And it is the flat-out, poker-faced hatred in "M*A*S*H" that makes it work. ... We laugh, that we may not cry ... We can take the unusually high gore-level in "M*A*S*H" because it is originally part of the movie's logic. If the surgeons didn't have to face the daily list of maimed and mutilated bodies, none of the rest of their lives would make any sense ... One of the reasons "M*A*S*H" is so funny is that it's so desperate.”

6. I get confused about how a lot of the reviews discussed it in the context of war, when for me I felt like the Korean war was almost totally absent (in practicality as well as in feeling), apart from the occasional nuisance it caused the characters. maybe for its time it was very gory/very real/very desperate, but I don’t see it today -- the imdb also states that “the staff of a Korean War field hospital use humor and high jinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of war,” and I was just there wondering... what war? horrific to whom? and it’s not like war films in which war is very present hadn’t been made before this, but perhaps just not in really in America. the very idea of challenging the American military logic even a little may have been a breath of fresh air?

7. altman called the book racist and pretty terrible, but apparently the movie doesn’t deviate much from it, which is... interesting

8. I can see why this was a hit when it came out. I just feel such a visceral shudder at it watching it now, that it’s hard to even judge it on the merits of the time in which it came out

9. on that note, I am once again fascinated by the intentions going into the show. the pilot episode especially certainly has more movie DNA in it than the rest, but the casting immediately created different tensions, especially of course alan alda, but also wayne rogers, larry linville, and of course loretta swit. the fact that they’re setting up recurring characters also gives them more of a depth -- you know that things will happen and shift and change, whereas in the movie the point is the aimless drift from thing to thing

10. actually the aimless drifting + loudspeaker interludes were my favourite parts of the film -- my least favourite thing (structurally, otherwise it would be the misogyny) is the football match at the end, which was... odd. dull. if there was an absence of war before that, it totally disappeared for a substantial amount of runtime to just show this flipping football thing happening

11. how many of the hijinks from the movie/book were in the show -- I’m going to make a separate post for that

[urrone]

20 fanfic questions

Tagged by @swaps55 (thank yooooou)

Tagging: do you wanna do it? man just do it. have fun. go ham.

How many works do you have on AO3?

26

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

216,983

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently? It's mostly Dragon Age and Mass Effect, but I've also written hockey rpf, popslash (which is not included in the works count or the word count), Supernatural, SPN RPF, LotR, the Hunger Games, and Julie and the Phantoms.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Remains - SPN, Dean goes missing, Sam tries to find him

Shape I'm In - hockey RPF, Tyler takes a hard hit during a game, Jamie gets in a fight, this is the aftermath

Never Lived a Time Better Spent in Love - hockey RPF, Sid/Geno many years down the line, adopt a baby together

Actually, Plenty - SPN, a coda to What Remains set 15 years after that story

Everything Changes, Everything Stays the Same - SPN, Sam rescues Dean from hell, things change for them after that

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, I've had people comment about the fact that I'm still responding to comments on fifteen year old fic. If you're going to read and take the time to comment, I'm gonna say thank you. Plus, community is the best part of fandom, how can you have community if you're not talking?

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh it's for sure lathbora viran which is the only story I've written that I had to tag "no happy ending." Although honestly swaps would probably say that For a Single Yesterday was also pretty fuckin' angsty. But Kaidan finds peace, my poor inquisitor absolutely did not.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably my Julie and the Phantoms fic, gravity, though I did absolutely take people through the ringer first.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

When I first got into hockey I ended up on the anon hate list for a hot minute because it was obvious from the first fic I posted that I didn't know anything about hockey because, well, I didn't. I'd never watched it before I got involved in the fandom. So it was valid criticism even if it was mean spirited.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

The smuttiest thing I've ever written is a PWP threesome for the Oilers boys called Hold You Down. I enjoy reading smut but as a noted ace I feel awkward as fuck about writing it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes. Crazy is such a subjective word, but I've written the hockey dudes into the Pacific Rim world and I fixed the shit about the Pac Rim world that never really made sense. I had a much more in depth story plotted out but I lost steam on writing RPF.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've ever been told?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, but that fic is no longer online.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Twice. I had fun both times but prefer to set my own pace through a fic.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't really have an all time to write, they're all my favorites.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I still feel very guilty about a popslash WIP that I know will never be finished.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Pretty prose.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I try to avoid writing action sequences because I have no idea how to make them sound cool.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I can have a native speaker assist, yes. If I have to run it through google translate, absolutely not.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I was writing extra scenes into the Princess Bride when I was 12 years old.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Idk, they're all my children. I love them all equally. I think in general I'm most proud of the Julie and the Phantoms fic, because I just really feel like I nailed the thesis of it, because I had a thesis, and it wasn't just "a meets b and they fall in love." (Which isn't a diss, this is what I usually write, that fic was just different.) But yeah, they're all my favorite. YOU tell ME which your favorite is.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

for a second I thought maybe the collabs are because (aside from him probably wanting them) he didn't nearly have enough time to do his own things but that doesn't make sense because

pretty sure a lot of those songs were already made, he just needed to sing them and create/learn the choreography &

yes they're all English and created by other people (not a criticism just an observation) but those could've still been solo songs? Like them being English singles doesn't mean they needed to be collabs

I'm not sure why I had that original thought lol.

I think maybe it's the label's influence (the American label). something to do with the marketing and introducing him to different audiences in America. Plus It's not like JK would be opposed to working with different artists he finds cool.

I am hesitant about his album though. The tracks might not all be collabs but at this point I don't think any of the songs are gonna feel like him at least the him prior to chapter 2. And I think they'll all be English (which isn't necessarily a bad thing because English songs can be meaningful, but I don't think they'll go for that. Hope I'm wrong)

I would've said differently before I discovered 3D and Seven were part of the album, but now I think this is the case.

They want his name out there and known across America as much as possible before military and before he'll literally be absent for almost 2 years.

But then that makes the whole thing so confusing!!

Well, collabs have the obvious advantage of getting fans of the other artists to listen to Jungkook's songs as well, and possibly becoming fans. I think it also helps Western audiences accept Jungkook, since he's already been "accepted" and "vouched for" by American artists. It gives him more credibility? If it was just Jungkook, maybe his solos would be regarded as side projects, and maybe his streams and records would be seen as the BTS fever effect. But with popular artists credited to his songs, I think that confers Jungkook a certain degree of legitimacy, and maybe shows he's interested in reaching a broader audience and in really building a name and career for himself. I can see the pros of the collabs. At the same time, those can quickly become cons if Jungkook just becomes the dude who only does collabs and can't succeed on his own. So far, all of his solos that charted well and had radio play have been collabs - L&R, Seven and 3D. Now that people know who he is he definitely needs to establish himself solo.

Regardless, he did a poor job choosing the collabs. It's obvious that the alternate version of 3D's better than the main one, and the reason why 3D isn't doing nearly as well as Seven is that, apart from Seven being his anticipated solo debut and having a trendier, and I'd say more tasteful, sound, even Armys didn't like Jack Harlow. The fandom itself isn't responding very well to the song. The MV was lackluster compared to Seven, which had made every Army's Y/N fantasy come true, and if the first song about sex shocks people, the second one is just more of the same. Worst of all though is probably Jack's feature. The lyrics are terrible and sexist, he's not a particularly liked rapper, many fans (like me) are only streaming the solo version and the solo and alternate versions doesn't even combine on Spotify. The way Big Hit lets BTS collab with problematic or not very well respected artists is insane. It's like they'll take anyone and don't even bother understanding what fans want. There are tons of respected, liked and very popular artists that would love to work with BTS and they chose Jack Harlow? They could've fucking asked Cardi B (who is problematic too but generally well liked), and she probably would've said yes. They could've brought back Megan.

The thing is that I don't think Jungkook even knows or understands that Jack Harlow ain't shit. He likes him, but not that many people seem to, which actually surprised me because I thought he was a big name. It's Big Hit's job to at least inform Jungkook of that or suggest other artists. With Latto the problem (aside from the racists tweets that I either misinterpreted or everyone chose to ignore) was more that no one knew who she was and he helped her career more than she helped his. However, since she's an up and coming rapper, it's a much more interesting feature, introducing him to a more specific type of audience and also showing that he's serious about music because he noticed her talent and chose to work with her even if she's less known.

The point is, people loved Seven, including Army, and mostly liked Latto, but the response to 3D has been very lackluster, and Jack is a big reason why. I wonder if Bad Decisions wouldn't have done better with different people, even if the song is Benny Blanco's.

I also think the 3D MV was a huge mistake. I saw someone on Reddit say Jack Harlow's parts give Blurred Lines and it tracks. I watched the MV yesterday and even Jungkook's parts aren't great though. The choreography is poorly shot and Jungkook's dancing doesn't look that good, the dance practice video is miles better. After Seven, which was a huge production, with a beautiful, famous actress and Jungkook being the goofy lover boy, the 3D MV is so low effort. It killed the hype for the song. And Jack dominates the track too much, it's ridiculous. I like the alternate version quite a bit, but Big Hit and Jungkook need to be smarter. I think Jungkook lacks self-confidence and is too humble to realize he's better on his own. He still has this mentality of "the more the merrier, I'll take anything", when he should've listened to the alternate version and realized the feature needed to, at least, be shorter.

As for collabs in other artists' tracks, those are an easy way of having more songs and getting his name out there, since he doesn't need to look for the songs or perform them. He just does a bit of work in the recording booth and that's it. Hybe doesn't even need to promote the songs much either, since that falls more on the main artist. However, again, it's not just about having more songs and exposure. His image matters, the kind of discography he cultivates matters. He needs to be choosier. He can't just take anyone, which at this point feels like what he's doing. It gives less "I'm a pop star" and more "I'm just a nobody from Korea who will take anyone who will help me and isn't big enough to attract more high profile names". I don't know how to express that in a non cruel way. This is really the vibe I'm starting to get, despite Jungkook carrying all of those songs and being so big already.

I don't know what to expect of his album, but 3D didn't help build up anticipation for it. I don't even know if 3D will debut on the top 10 of the Hot 100 and Army is way less excited about Golden now. At least Seven is still going strong. I remember when Seven dropped. 3D only had a week's notice which didn't help, but when Seven dropped the timeline was insane. The horniness was off the charts. The explicit version, as cheesy as it was, had everyone grabbing their hair. When 3D dropped, the reaction was much smaller, and a lot more negative. Visuals matter a lot, and 3D didn't have them. Jungkook also showed everything with Seven, so flashing his abs and talking about sex isn't going to shock people anymore.

Anyway, it's a shame, because I like the solo version of 3D a lot, the choreo is much better than Seven, the performance is better too, and I love Jungkook's vocals so much in the alternate version. I pray he does that high note live. I don't even mind the lyrics. 3D needed a much better MV and no Jack Harlow. I won't even complain about Latto anymore, since, in comparison, she fit Seven better, had less screen time and lines, and helped the song be better, and not worse, received. Maybe I'm biased because I only know what's happening in kpop spaces, but...

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the rant...

[tedcruzhasastupidface]

MAGA’s Cultural Heroine: “Owning the libs”

You may have heard the term “cultural heroine” in passing when reading about culture wars in the US in the last few years, but what is it? If you have heard criticism of JD Vance you probably hear he is a “cultural heroine dealer.”  What is ironic is that Vance coined the phrase in 2016 while criticizing Trump.  In 2016 he said “Trump is cultural heroin. He makes some feel better for a bit. But he cannot fix what ails them, and one day they’ll realize it.” This was past JD Vance warning us about future JD Vance, who, since he is more articulate than Trump, is now the biggest cultural heroine dealer to the Tump Party. And now Vance is high on his own supply, the cardinal sin of drug dealing.  But he get’s his dope high when he’s slinging it.

When the MAGA faithful hears or sees a spokes-mouth of the  party speak what they are thinking in a way more eloquently or cutting then they could ever say it or, have the guts to say to someone else’s face, whether it it is MTG yelling like a lunatic at the Sate of the Union, Mike Johnson gaslighting the nation NBC or CBS news interview, a right wing influencer trolls who cash checks from the Kremlin like Shaprio, Crowder, or Pools on a their podcast or YouTube channel, or a down ballot Trumper at a political debate, the brain of the MAGA faithful releases a hit of dopamine.

Dopamine is a hormone and a type of neurotransmitter, or chemical messenger, made in your brain. This unique neurotransmitter affects your body, brain, and behavior. Dopamine plays a role in how we feel pleasure and rewards.  There are signs that drugs like heroin, nicotine, cocaine, and MDMA target midbrain dopamine neurons and/or serotonin neurons, but their effects on the dynamic neuronal activity remain unclear in behaving states.  Taking drugs is pretty extreme, so why not watch some political fights instead?  Because doing so has a real impact on your fellow American’s lives.  It breeds political extremism on both sides but it seems the right is more susceptible to it since they are usually less educated and recent studies suggests that people with right-wing views have a larger area of the brain associated with fear.

I have watch many interviews with the MAGA faithful at rallies and event chatted with some MAGA friends on Facebook.  When they are asked why they support him or what he accomplished they can never one pinpoint or even name one piece of legislation he has passed because that is not what they care about. Often they say things like they like him because he is “owning the libs.” This is very telling, because they are recalling the dopamine hits they receive when they heard their thoughts spoken by someone they agree with to the face of someone that disagrees. Often it is about a false sense of security, a false sense of justice, or a false morally superiority, a false sense of equality that happened between 30 and 50 years ago or some time between 2017 and 2020.  Let me remind them that in 2020 Trump failed to stop COVID 19 and presided over the the worst unemployment since the Great Depression.  I am reminded during the 2016 debates when Jeb Bush said his brother “kept us safe” and Trump retorted that 911 happened on W’s watch.  Trump can dish it out but he can’t take it.

The MAGA faithful don’t want Trump in power because of concrete policies he can establish for the country or for themselves, they want him because it make them feel good, that the people they disagree with will suffer simply for having a different option them them and in some cases for just existing.  This is fascism.

Crime is down according to the FBI.  Unemployment and inflation are trending down. But the MAGA faithful only get their news from gaslighting cultural heroine dealers on Fox News, social media and political candidates with a need to paint an opposite reality by gaslighting them with video of smash and grabs and blame incumbents and opponents for the fake doom.

The followers of the Trump Party need a to sober up from their drug addle stupor.

The phrase “get a life” gets thrown around at people we disagree with, but let’s think about it. “Get a life” is short for: go and seek out a more fulfilling life by experiencing joy with your friends and family and the wider culture instead of being a hatful, petty, grievances filled creature that you currently are.  We one the left need to reach out to MAGA friends and family and just treat them like human being.  Try to understand before being understood.  But more importantly, we need to outvote them and discourage them from voting this November.  They have no problem with election interference, we should have no problem telling them to give up on voting because dear leader says it is rigged.

[writingpuddle]

adding a part two to this essay because you know where weve seen this technique before?

thats right, its your boy, neil josten!

this is almost immediately after drake. aaron just killed somebody, for andrews sake. and neil comes sauntering in and takes the most uncalled-for shot in history. and just like neil in the cabin scene, aaron reacts with instinctive fury

but critically, just like the later scene at the cabin, the initial shot wasnt the point at all. their goals are different, but the method is the same. and unlike aaron, in a rare show of transparency, neil spells out his point exactly

for the most part up till now, neils been pretty ambivalent towards aaron. theyre not particularly antagonistic or friendly; aaron is just sort of around and neil is more focussed on kevin and andrew. neil obviously does not care very much about the trauma of aaron grappling with having killed someone (or at the very least, his own experiences with death have made him wildly less than tactful dealing with someone who is currently going through it. his empathy muscles are kinda fucked. no sense of what a normal reaciton to murder is, this guy. like, give aaron a chance to catch his breath, holy shit dude.).

but neil does care about andrews well being. whether neil understands it or not, he knows that the twins relationship is critical to andrew. it doesnt matter that he himself is sort of in a take-it-or-leave-it state with aaron at the moment - up till now theyve actually not interacted much - but this matters to andrew. so neil will walk in and launch his own grenade at aaron. a aaron who just found out that andrew, who he thought was an cold, unfeeling wall, is not invincible. an aaron who just realized that maybe everything he knew about andrew was wrong. an aaron who just saw a mans brain splatter across the wall, and who has never seen death like this before.

its this moment, when aarons world is on such shaky footing, that he could maybe actually grasp the point. i think if neil had tried this even several weeks later, it wouldnt have worked so well. he could fall back on old habits and dismiss the idea. its aarons shellshocked vulnerability that makes the hit land. aaron denies neils point in the moment, but the seed is planted. he cant unknow it now. neil dragged aaron kicking and screaming to the conclusion and then pulled the blindfold off at the last moment so aaron was forced to realize that they werent really talking about drake at all.

in the cabin scene aarons trick is left implicit, but here neil says it directly; his opening statement was a lie. thats because in the cabin scene the point aaron was making was to himself, not neil. in the post-drake scene, neil was trying to force an understanding between aaron and andrew about tildas death. in the cabin scene, aaron was trying to convince himself that neil was serious enough about andrew that their relationship would be an effective bludgeon for breaking their deal.

and then somehow these two pushy, manipulative, tactless jerks somehow pull off the greatest scam of all (happily ever after)

i wanna talk about this scene because its one of my favourite character moments for both aaron and neil. theyve just gotten to the cabin, only a handful of days after nathans death, and aaron gets neil alone and says this:

now listen. maybe what aaron is doing here is exactly what it looks like. maybe he is concerned that neil is exploiting andrew, and this is him being a protective brother. and i do think theres a part of him that is. he could also be reacting badly due to homophobia, and maybe a part of him is too. but mostly -

he's testing neil.

see, aarons not totally heartless. in that moment in baltimore, when neil was bloody and beaten to shit - aaron was horrified with the rest of them. he might not like neil particularly much, but when you see someone you moderately dislike tortured past the point of human endurance, youre going to put aside your dislike for a second. youre going to take their side, and aaron does. when the foxes claim neil, aaron is right up there with them.

but unlike neil and andrew, who spend the next few days in the emotional wringer with the feds, aaron had several days to process. to really process what allison pointed out to them.

and he realized he could use it.

maybe thats callous of him, but mostly its inevitable; this is how the twins have learned to communicate, to leverage each other with bribes and threats. he watched andrew nearly kill kevin, pick a fight with the feds, grip neils hoodie like he might disappear if he didnt hold on tight enough, and he understood that there was nothing andrew wouldnt do for neil.

meanwhile, neil is still coming off of weeks of telling himself, gritted teeth, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me, its fine so long as andrew doesnt care about me...

hes barely begun to acknowledge the much less dangerous fact that he has feelings for andrew. less dangerous because if andrew doesnt care about him, then neils death wont hurt him, and neils feelings cant be hurt if hes the one that dies. but if andrew has feelings for him, then this whole time hes been risking that his death would break andrew - break the very person he most wants to protect.

so neil denies it. hes made the first wobbly step towards freedom, but he hasnt yet dealt with the moriyamas. he could still die at any moment. wrapping his head around his fathers death hasnt given him enough time to break those weeks of conditioning himself in the dark. andrew doesnt care about me. andrew cant care about me. neil will go to war for andrew but the idea that the converse is true is too dangerous to look at directly. to protect andrew, to protect himself, he denies it.

but when aaron asks neil if andrew will fight for him, he's not really asking. we can see it in the casual way he shrugs off neils denial. he doesnt care what neil says. he wants to see what neil does. he already knows - or has a pretty strong bet - what andrew will do. what he needs to know is if neil is serious.

listen, i am personally of the belief that if andrew released aaron from his deal for neils sake and then things went sour with neil, andrew would respect the broken deal anyway. but i dont think aaron sees that - he hasnt yet fully internalized that andrew does things out of his own brand of fairness, and not out of malice. so he needs to know; andrew will fight for this. will neil?

so he lobs a grenade at neil, a loaded accusation, and neil comes back swinging. and theres aarons answer. neil isnt exploiting andrew, hes not just playing around. hes as viciously protective of andrew as andrew is of him and those two repressed assholes might not be saying it with words, but aarons not stupid. andrew gave himself away when neil went missing and now neils showed his hand too.

neils right. he has been had, and hes just lucky that what aaron wants is exactly what neil wanted anyway.